My father has Alzheimers and is the main reason why I finally accepted my mediumship abilities and wanted to learn how to use my gifts. You see studies have shown that people with Alzheimers have one foot here on earth and the other foot on the other side. That’s why they often get scared. When they have the half glazed eye look on their face that looks like they are a million miles away from you, know that they are. It’s when we try to snap them back into reality is when they often get scared because they shift their awareness from the other side back to our side then suddenly realize they don’t recognize us or even know where they are.
Caring For An Alzheimer Patient:
Caring for someone with this disease comes with alot of stress and the ability to just go with the flow. You can’t possibly get upset with someone who can’t remember. Do expect them to ask the same questions over and over and over. This is where true patience comes into play. It doesn’t do any good to raise your voice or yell. They won’t understand why you are upset anyway. Try and take in a deep breath, and remain calm. From here you have two choices, answer the question again or redirect the question. I always like to go with redirecting and changing the subject. If someone is still in stage 1, you might not be able to redirect the behavior.
Here Are Some Of My Helpful Hints In Dealing With This Horrible Disease:
1. Be patient and remain calm at all times
2. Try to go with the flow. This comes into play once they are in stage 2 or higher. If they say the sky is green then you say yes the sky is green. Does it really matter if the sky isn’t green?
3. When trying to explain something to them always start off with providing a name of a familar person so that they feel loved and safe. They will be more willing and flexible to listen to you and to cooperate with you.
4. Don’t rush the conversation. While you are trying to explain the situation you might have to repeat things a few times but that’s ok.
5. When they get scared, tell them who you are and let them know that they are ok, loved, & safe.
6. Keep a photo album or pictures close by of spouses, kids, family, and friends. This will help trigger a memory and calm them down quicker.
7. Look straight into their eyes so you can make contact with their soul and hold their hands. Once you make eye to eye contract and can reach them through your soul it’s only a matter of time before they will calm down and slowly snap back into reality.
8. Try and think of how this person can remember you and make a connection from the past. For me, I say remember the little girl who couldn’t pronounce the word Ottawa and used to say it as awa? Then my dad always says that was you wasn’t it. I say yep. Then he starts talking about how we had to practice saying that word and several other words over and over every night. You see I lost my two front teeth in first grade and had a hard time pronouncing words correctly.
9. Don’t take it personally if they forget your name or think you are someone else.
10. Mixing up words. Before they completely forget they start to mix up people’s names and places. That’s ok. At least they still remember the event. Just help them out and provide the correct name or place and then identify the person or place so that they feel comfortable.
I live in Arizona where no matter where you look you can see mountains in the distance. Therefore, my dad refers to me as the girl who lives up in the mountains. In the beginning my mom would get really upset and says no Bernard she doesn’t live in the mountains. Yet, my dad would come back with yes she does; you can see mountains everywhere which seeing mountains everywhere is actually a true fact. When you look outside my front door, I can see mountains off in the far distance no matter which way I go so technically my dad is correct. It’s rare now that my dad will even call me by name. However, the first thing he does though is ask me, “So how is everything today up on that mountain?” I just chuckle and answer great.
Keeping Alzheimer’s In Their Normal Environment:
They says it’s best to keep Alzheimer’s in their normal environment. I can personally tell you from own families nightmare just how true that statement is. Here’s our story of what happened when my mom decided she needed a break and came to Arizona with my dad for 93 days in the winter.
I flew to Illinois in October 2018 and drove my parents to Arizona. It all started on day one with my dad. As he sat in the car even though we told him where we were going he kept thinking we were driving to the Quad Cities. We continued driving west on interstate 80. We had been on the road for hours and were nearing Omaha Nebraska when he sees a sign for the airport. He says you ladies need to pull the car over. I will drop you off at the airport here in the Quad cities then I need to head home to my wife. His wife at this point is the front seat driving the car. We could hardly keep a straight face. She replies, I am your wife. He responds back no you might be an Audrey but your not my Audrey. This was the first time my dad didn’t recognize my mom driving in the car. I spent the next 30 minutes trying to reason with him and explain no this is your wife. I quickly realized that when we left his home, he started to not even recognize his own wife. He started referring to her as the other woman for the next 93 days. During the car ride he was good as gold. He liked to look out the window and watch the cars go by and comment on every single Black Angus cow that we passed. When we arrived at North Plate Nebraska it was very late and we had to get a hotel room. This is when the nightmare began. It was after dark and the brain decides to completely shutdown with no memory recall at all. We were in the hotel room, when all of a sudden my father takes his suitcase and decides he’s going home. I’m trying to block him from leaving the hotel room, and he keeps saying I am going home. I say we are on a road trip going to Arizona to visit your son and grand kids. Remember? Of course he doesn’t remember. Then, my mother and I try and tell him where we are. He is dumbfounded and says how did I end up in Nebraska. He can’t believe it. He says were we kidnapped? At this point, my mom and I can can’t keep a straight face. However, it’s late at night and we are tired. He wants to look out the window so we let him. He sees the cars in the parking lot and says OMG we were kidnapped. My mom says yes now get to bed. He goes back to bed but just lays there awhile because he’s scared and confused. Not being able to calm him down, I have to resort to calling my brother. He then starts texting me family photos of my father and the rest of our family. I then show him all of the photos which takes an hour to go through and to calm him down. I am so tired that I don’t sleep at all in fear that he might wake up and try and leave the hotel room. It is now 1:30am and he finally goes to sleep.
Day 2 of the road trip:
We get up eat breakfast and all is well. We get back on the road & so far so good. We are on the road a few hours when he starts to ask me if I am even old enough to drive his car. He wants to know why are you driving my car? I say because mom asked me to because you don’t drive anymore. Then, he start to point out that we are going the wrong way. We need to turn around and head back east not west. I saw well we are going west today not east. My poor mom is trying to get a nap in since she didn’t sleep at all either and both of us have to take turns driving since he can’t drive. Lately, my dad was going through a faze where he kept eating. He would think he didn’t eat, then he would ask to eat so we would feed him again. So to keep him busy in the car while my mom was driving I kept giving her snacks to preoccupy him. Day two was a rough day for me and my mom because we were exhausted. However, we quickly realized that taking him out his environment was not a good idea. His brain was starting to completely shutdown on basic things in life. My mom decides we need to keep driving rather than stop and getting a hotel room after 8 hours. I have a hard time seeing to drive at night & I was tired. Therefore, driving any further was difficult for me. Not my 75 year old mother. Once she sets her mind to something you can’t stop her. She says pull over. I will drive and she continues to drive on for another 3 more hours. When we finally get a hotel room, we are thinking that my dad would be so exhausted that he would just collapse and go to sleep. Not the case. I had to go through the photo album on my phone and show him pictures of everyone in the family. I had to explain where we were going and how long it would take to get there. I asked him if he had any questions. We let him turn on the tv and watch whatever he wanted in hopes that he would fall asleep. As luck would have it, he fell asleep early this night and we all got to sleep for 8 hours.
Day 3 of the road trip:
Finally, we all wake up rested and are feeling great. The plan is to be in Phoenix by nightfall. The road trip during the day is great. My dad is singing in the car and telling stories and appears to be happy. We finally arrive in Phoenix after dark. When we get to my house surprisingly he remembers my husband and spends about an hour talking with him while we are all just getting settled in. Then, it’s back to bedtime or nightmare time as I like to call it. He remembers where he sleeps and goes directly to the room. He lays his suitcase on the bed and unzips it. What happens next is about to be a nightly occurrence for the next several months. He then spends almost 4 hours zipping and unzipping his suitcase. Packing and then unpacking his cloths. You see the brain totally shuts down. He can’t seem to remember what he’s doing. I walk in several times and help him get his pajamas out so he can go into the bathroom and get dressed. We finally get the pajamas on. Then, I need to get his teeth brushed. After several hours we have pajamas on and teeth brushed. The bedroom lights are still on. I keep hoping he’s going to turn off the light and go to bed. He finally turns off the lights and comes walking out with street cloths on holding his suitcase. I say where are you going? He replies, “I am going home.” This now is the first night of a nightly occurrence of him picking up his suitcase and trying to leave and go home. I walk him back into the room and say we are staying here tonight. I show him pictures of his parents. I then show him pictures of his mother and say remember how she had Alzheimers? He says, yes. I say well your three sisters have it now too. He looks at me at says oh. I say you do too. That’s why you can’t remember where you are. I explain that he’s at my house. That he is loved and safe. He then calms down. I look him straight in the eye and say we need to get to sleep ok Everything is going to be ok. I will see you in the morning. I leave and go back and lay on the step of our stair case because he tries to leave a few more times. Finally he is so exhausted he finally just gives up and goes to sleep.
Dad wakes me up bright and early Saturday morning. I would have thought he would have slept in but no he is up at his usual time even with a time difference. I am exhausted. I have to turn keep the house alarm on to make sure he doesn’t just walk out of the house. He wakes up with a lot of energy and is ready to go for the day. So I talk my husband into taking in on a walk with the dog. Later I take him running errands with me while my poor mom is trying to sleep from pure exhaustion of having to take care of him on her own. Later in the day we finally arrive at my brothers place where they are to live for the next 3 months. Everything appears fine until bedtime. When the sun went down my dads brain completely shut down again. He suddenly didn’t remember who we were or where he was. Worse my brother changed the room to where my dad would be staying so he kept trying to get into the wrong bedroom. It took us 4 hours to get him to bed. We went through the new same old routine. He would zip and unzip his suitcase. Then, pack and unpack the suitcase. We quickly learned the key was to have him take off his shoes and get his pajamas on. If his pajamas were on somehow he knew he need to go to bed. We finally got him to sleep around 11:00pm.
Day 5 is a Sunday. My brother and his family spends the entire day entertaining him while I am home getting all caught from being gone for 10 days.
When bedtime arrives we go through the exact same thing of not remember, zipping, and unzipping the suitcase and trying to escape and go home. This is now our new nightly routine. He doesn’t fall asleep until 11:00 pm and my brother needs to be up early for work.
Day 6 is a Monday. My brother and I are both back to work. My mom is supposed to be keeping an eye on my dad. However, he loves to ride his bike. Back home he rides his bike about 4 times a day and goes on long bikes rides. My mom is still extremely exhausted that she doesn’t even realize that my dad has left the house on his bike. Luckily for him, he gets lost inside a gated community and did not leave this time. He stopped to ask two women for directions. They tried to help him find the house but he wasn’t able to find the house so they called the police. They put him in the back of the squad car and the police officer drove around the neighborhood looking for a red car inside the garage. My dad had his car keys on him and kept hitting the alarm button. Finally, the alarm button went off and they realized that was his house so the police office walked him to the front door. My mom answered, he went in and that was the end of that. However, once I learned that I quickly filled out a profile and entered him into the Return Me Safe Program with the police department in case he went missing again. I later asked my dad what he did that day of which he responded nothing much. My brother comes home from work and has to install locks on the gates outside and install new keyless locks inside the home so that no one can leave without a key.
I am home having a flash that my dad is going stir crazy trying to get out of the house and my mom is sick. I call my daughter who was in school only 20 minutes away. I said, “I have a bad feeling my dad went missing and got out of my brothers gated community on his bike. Drive there and check in on them.” I kept trying to call my mom but she wasn’t answering. My daughter finally arrives and my mom says, my dad went riding his bike around the block but then never came back. Instantly, I went into panic mode. I get in the car and am on my way down when my brother calls and says the police called. My dad rode his bike to the Walgreens on the corner. He asked to pick up my moms prescription but there wasn’t a prescription. They could tell something wasn’t right about it. He was able to identify himself with his driver’s license and he knew my brothers address. He had my brothers name, address, and phone number written on a piece of paper which we put in his shirt pocked in case he got lost again. The pharmacist then looked up my brothers name and sure enough the address matched. They then called the police. My brother picked up my dad & took him home. When I get there I am furious. I demand that my brother lock my dad’s bike up so that he can not take off on his own again.
Mom Gets Worse Dad Gets Better:
My mom isn’t feeling well at all. She is sleeping 18 out of 24 hours a day. This becomes her new norm for the next two weeks. Obviously, something is wrong here. I now have to help take care of both them in addition to working for my husbands business. I spend my days out walking, riding a bike, going to church with my dad, & working off my i phone from my brothers place. I notice my dads personality has really changed. Now all of a sudden he is very religious. He is constantly asking questions about heaven such as who goes to heaven and who doesn’t. What do you think heaven will be like? I try and answer his questions as best as I can. He now wants to go to church everyday. I find myself taking him because it’s the one place where I know he will sit down and I can work off my phone in church. I know you aren’t supposed to be working in church but when you are desperate trying to watch someone, work, and keep your family insane you do what you got to do. I think god has forgiven me for working in church since I’m doing a good deed of taking care of others.
Over the next two weeks, I have to move into my brothers house to take care of both of them. Driving back and forth everyday is out of the question. My mom is now sleeping nonstop 18 hours a day. She gets up just long enough to eat and go back to bed. I’m getting really nervous and start to think, OMG she had me drive them out here because she is dying & doesn’t want dad left alone. This gives me the opportunity though to control my dads diet and exercise. I am now able to start feeding him healthy foods with lots of green vegetables, fish, and start giving him coconut oil which is supposed to help stop the disease from spreading(supposedly). During the next couple of weeks, we see improvements in my dad. He is now back to talking and interacting with people. I start to play memory games with him on a daily basis although he doesn’t recognize what we are even doing. For example, grouping cards into colors, numbers, patterns, and playing the game connect four which makes you think.
My father is a 78 year old man who is in perfect health, excellent shape, and likes to ride his bike about 15 miles a day. Now he is confined into riding a bike about 2 miles a day. We find that the less exercise he gets per days the harder it is for him to go to sleep at night. It gets so bad, we take him to a specialist thinking that putting him on medication would help ease him and allow him to go to sleep earlier and much comfortably. No not at all. Just the opposite happens. He takes the medicine the first day and is wired all day long. He is wired so much that it is now 1:00 am and he is still up and can’t sleep. Nothing we say or do can help him go to sleep so we just have to wait until he tires himself out. We call the doctors office and they say to take him off the medicine immediately. So now what? How are we going to get him to go to sleep before midnight because we are exhausted. You would think he would be exhausted and would need to take a nap everyday but no. He doesn’t nap. The more he is outside doing things, waking, riding a bike, or playing games the happier he is.
Dad Tries To Escape Everyday:
While my brother left for work everyday, I was left at the house trying to watch my parents and work. My brother installed locks to where you can only get out of the house with a key. Worse yet my brother locked my dad bike up in his shed and put on a bike chain. Somehow, my dad never forget this. Everyday, he would try and get outside to get into that bike and try and get that bike lose so he could write it. For the next, three weeks every single day my dad broker the lock on the back gate. After the third time, I remember calling my brother and telling him I think we should go online to Amazon and buy these locks in bulk. He seems to be breaking them every single day. Everyday, my brother would come home and say how did he do it this time? Most of the time, he broke the locks so quickly I wasn’t sure how he did it. Worse part is he worked construction his whole life so he was handy. I honestly think he went into my brothers garage and grabbed any tool he found laying around. After awhile, I asked my brother to put his toolbox up. Sure enough that did. Dad was no longer able to break the locks.
Every morning after my brother left for work, my dad would try and walk out the front door. I used to take him for a walk everyday. Most of the time he tried to leave before I was ready. He would say, “The doors are locked. What are we in the nut house? We can’t get out.” I would respond back I have the key. Don’t worry. I took my dad on five walks a day. By the end of they day I was exhausted. No not him. He was still full of energy. Plus, we also rode bikes for a couple of hours each day.
Sister Comes To Down For Christmas:
My sister came to down for Christmas for ten days. I got to go home, relax, and prepare for our Christmas dinner at my house. Her most famous words were, “How hard can it be watching dad?” “All you have to do is walk and ride a bike all day.” On day five she called up, “I can’t take it anymore.” “This is my vacation.” “I need a break.” “Get back down here.” “I want to go do something.” I told her welcome to my world. I have been doing this a long longer than you. Plus you don’t even live in Arizona. My brother and I were the ones stuck taking care of them. All she had to do was watch them for a total of ten days. That’s it.
Family Tension Is On The Rise:
In early January 2022, I am trying to make dinner. It’s almost done but my dad is insistent on going on another bike. I ask my nephew to go take my dad on another bike ride so I can take dinner. He’s getting tired of watching him and on this day kept saying in a little bit. Well in the meantime, my dad took off. I immediately went after him and forgot to turn off the stove. I burned the entire meal. My mom, dad, and nephew had to go out and pick up dinner. On the way there, they witnessed a horrible accident and someone died. My nephew was extremely shaken up. When he got back to the house he said, “Aunt Jill I think the person died.” “Next time you need someone to take grandpa on a bike ride, I promise I will go.” “I am sorry.”
Brother Gets Tired of Taking Care of Parents:
My brother kids play on softball and baseball leagues all year long. Even in the winter time. When my parents were here, the goal was for my brother to go to the game and come home. This way, I could then finally drive back to my place and get work done at my house. Well that didn’t happen. The longer my parents were here the less he came home. My mom finally decided she wanted to go. However, my mom is really sick so my brother drives my dad back home. They leave during the Winter Artic Blast of 2019. Yep! Coldest days in the year and my brother is leaving warm and sunny Arizona and driving right smack in the Artic Blast storm. My mom stays her and is supposed to fly out two days later. The day before my mom is scheduled to go home, I get a weird call from my husband. He’s not feeling well. My intuition kicks in and says, “Leave now or he will die.” I race home only to take him to Urgent Care and then straight to the hospital where he ends up having emergency surgery 8 hours later. My mom told me to go. She said she was only going to be alone for 6 1/2 hours. While I was at the hospital, I kept calling and checking in on her. At the end of the day, I had to drive back to my brothers to spend the night so I could take her to the airport. That was the last time my parents were in Arizona.
I get a call that my cousins toddler pushed the outdoor swing that my mom was going to sit down on and my mom fell and broke several bones. She was rushed to the hospital. They thought for sure she was going to be staying in the hospital. That means there was no one there to take care of my dad. Within 2 1/2 hour I was already on board an American flight headed to Ohare to take care of my dad for the next 30 days.
Being stubborn, my mom refused to stay in the hospital. She came home knowing that I would take care of her. However, by the next day I had to call an ambulance to take her back. She as in a lot of pain. She couldn’t get up all day and was pretty much un responsive. For the next 5 days, my mom is in the hospital. After that she is in a nursing home for the next 21 days.
During this time, I am taking care of my dad. This was the busiest, most hectic, yet most memorable time of my life. Amongst all this chaos, I enjoyed spending my days with my dad. We had a lot of fun. I had to work my regular, go visit my mom, entertain my dad, help out with my Aunt & Uncle and deal with a dying cousin who tried to commit suicide a few times while I was back home.
My dad was pretty easy to take care of as long as were active doing things. He like to get up early, eat breakfast, and then take a bike ride. Since he lived there his whole life he had this same bike routine for years. Everyone in town knew him. My siblings and I were trying to figure out at what stage do we take his bike away. We knew his memory was getting worse as the months went by.
While I was taking care of my dad, my family kept calling. I had to go back home to Phoenix at some time. I knew I couldn’t stay forever. At the same time though, my mom said it was time to put my dad in a home. The place where she was staying had a memory care facility. It was only a few years old. I had to take my dad and go get a physical in order for him to be admitted. I felt horrible. I had to pack his bag to go into the nursing home. My mom was still in the care center herself. We decided to check my dad in a few days before I went home so I could go visit with him and he could get settled. I took my dad for his very last meal. He wanted to eat at Culver’s. Although he could no longer remember my moms name he called her the other lady. He asked me, “Can we get the other lady a hamburger and bring it to her today.” “They don’t have good food in that care center.” Then he refused to eat all of his food because he wanted to give it to the lady. Once we got to the care center, we went to my moms room. My dad gave her the food. The admission person walked in and asked my mom to sign the paperwork. My mom started crying so bad that she could not sign the paperwork. The lady told me I could sign my moms name for her. I did not want to sign that paper. All I could think of is bad KARMA. OMG my kids are going to do the same thing for me. Well, after a very long time, I had to sign those papers. Myself and my moms brother walked my dad back to the memory facility. It felt horrible. I felt like I was leaving him in a prison.
Since my dad was in perfect health in got out of a lock down facility four times within 24 hours. Every single time, he got out of the lock down facility, he went straight to my moms room. No one could believe that he got out that many times. You see they wear street cloths. He had been to that facility numerous times visiting people that we knew. Most people didn’t even know that he was a resident. Plus, he was in good shape and moved quickly. He was also very polite and smiled a lot with people. I can still hear his voice saying, “Here let me get that door for you.” “Do you need some help with that walker?”
Day 2 of Dad Being In A Memory Care Facility:
I went home & didn’t sleep all night. I felt horrible for locking up my dad. You see my parents had money. I wanted my mom to find someone to come to the house & take care of my dad so he could stay in that house as long as possible. When I woke up in the morning, I got a text from my ex sister in law. It said, I know you probably want to go early and check in on your dad but do not. Trust me. I work in the medical field. You need to let him get adjusted. Therefore, I also did not go visit my mom. I was supposed to pick up my mom by 2:00pm that day for discharge. I had no idea she could leave early. I showed up with her brother to pick her up. However, first we went and visited my dad. When we arrived in my moms room she asked us why are you both crying. My uncle was worst than me. My mom could be stubborn once she made up her mind. My uncle said, “Audrey your daughters right please take him home. He doesn’t belong there. It’s horrible. That place is going to kill him. Please you have the money. Do the right thing.” My mom started crying and said we don’t have help. I instantly got on the phone and took care of that. We ended up checking my dad out and I took him home on a Friday night. Tuesday night I had their new care givers show up and I went home.
Brother Puts Dad in a New Home:
Two weeks later my brother flew home and put my dad in a different home. This one was actually a small private home. We all decided it was the best place for him. My dad felt like he was just visiting there in the beginning. Compared to this large facility, this small place had a lot of staff. Over the next 4 years they would take really good care of him.
I went back to visit my dad and check out this new facility right before Covid-19 hit. At that time, we were not on lock down. My dad was still talking but he was no longer active. As soon as he was admitted to the care center, they started to sedate him so that he would not be active. That’s the part that really killed me. I don’t believe in taking any unnecessary medication. On my first visit to the care center, I could tell my looking into his eyes that he wasn’t there. It wasn’t that he was loosing his mind and staring off into space but I could tell that he was highly medicated and I did not like that one bit. I told the girl, “I will be here for 10 days. While I am here you will not be medicating my dad. Do you understand? I will be here everyday and I want to be able to talk with him.” By the third day of my visit, the medicine was starting to wear off and my dad was perking back up. He was becoming more talkative and more alert as to what was going on around.
I left town and I called the care center every Sunday just to talk with my dad so that he would not forget me. My mom quit calling because it was getting more and more difficult for my dad to come to the phone. Plus my dad didn’t remember my mom. When I would call he would say, “Are you still living up on that mountain?” Even though I’m not I would say yes. I really didn’t care what we talked about. It just felt comforting to me to be able to hear his voice. About a year later, when I called the girl said he can’t come to the phone anymore. It’s too hard for him to talk. I said I want to talk to him. I have right too you know. We can’t visit because of Covid-19 and now I can’t talk to him? Shortly after that they started sending random videos and pictures of my dad. The day they told me I couldn’t talk to him anymore, was the day I started to mourn him even though he was still alive. To me he was already gone but his physically body was still here.
Christmas 2020 My Sister and I Visit Dad One Last Time:
It was Christmas 2020, my mom got Covid so I went home first to take care of her. Then my sister flew out next to stay and take care of her. The day before I left to go home, both of us got to go visit my dad. It was freezing cold and we had to stand outside and look through the living room window to see my dad. We weren’t allowed in the building due to the Covid-19 lock down policy. That was one of the last days where my dad was able to walk.
Shortly after that he started to loose his balance and fall. You see the medicine they gave him was causing him to get dizzy and fall. I did not live there. My mom was too busy taking care of her own health issues to focus in on my dad. Had I lived there he would not have been taking any of that medicine. It was all a a waste just designed to slowly kill him. My dad was extremely thin. He started falling nonstop. It go to the point where he had to wear hip pads so that when he did fall he didn’t break a hip. Looking back we were very lucky because he never did break a hip. Shortly after that he wasn’t able to walk ever again. As we were going through this all I could thing of is “How can that be? How is it that a man who was in excellent physical shape when he went into that facility can no longer walk. Yet, my mother who has had numerous health issues, a bad hip and leg is still walking and she’s highly medicated and has not been in good physical shape for years. None of that made any sense to me until I saw the medicine they were giving him. IF YOU ARE READING THIS BE THE VOICE FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. PAY ATTENTION TO THE MEDICINE THAT THEY ARE GIVING THEM. MOST OF THE TIME, THEY DON’T EVEN NEED IT. YOU ARE JUST WASTING YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY.
Mom Dies First:
Some how my mom ended up dying before my dad. She died on 4/19/2022. After the funeral my sister and I went to tell my dad about my mother. We had a reaction from him so I think on a soul level he understood. After my sister went home, I was at the care center visiting my dad. The girl said he’s talkative today. I said good maybe he will talk with me today. When I was getting ready to leave, he blurts out clear as can be, “Are you’s coming back tomorrow.” Then my cellphone rang and it said mom is calling. I look at it in surprise because my mom had just died. I then laughed and knew my mom was with us in spirit in that room. I looked at my dad and said, “Yes mom and I will be back tomorrow.”
Dad Died 12/2/2022
On my daughters birthday 11/30/22, the care center moved my dad. I knew then that my dad would pass within the next 24-48 hours and sure enough he did. Moving people at the end always kills them. They are strong enough to handle being transported. I saw this a lot when I was young and worked at a nursing home. It was very common for patients to actually arrive at the care center while waiting to be admitted. Back to my dad. My brother happened to be living back home during this time period. My brother was with my dad until the end. This time though something told me to call my brother. When I called him I said pick up. I am facetiming you. I said I want to see dad. He said I don’t think you do. I said yes I do. I should have done that with my mom but I never thought of it. I’m really glad I did facetime with my brother. I was able to not only see my dad but to tell him I loved him and to thank him for giving me a great life and for making me who I am today. I told him. His job on earth was done. You don’t have to stay here and suffer and live on that. I called my sister and said call Mark. You need to face time dad and say goodbye. She did. A few hours after that he took his last breath while holding my brothers hand.